HOAX My Lonely Heart (2014)


Watch the staged-for-film performance of HOAX My Lonely Heart (2017) here


HOAX My Lonely Heart is a dark stage musical based on a poem titled HOAX, written in 2004 by my younger brother, during the several-year-long duration of his ultimately fatal mental illness schizophrenia.



My lonely heart is a hunter’s trap,

my lonely heart is a cage.

My lonely heart is a harp I play,

my lonely heart is a stage

upon which I beg,

and promise and plead

with sincerity that would be beautiful,

if only it were true.

I am destitute,

and my lonely heart is a lure.

Pernicious. If you take my hand I will lead you astray.

I would make you wound me just so I could bleed,

Then for my suffering I would have you pay.

My lonely heart knows many wise sayings,

None of which I believe.

I will tell you I was taught that love is freedom.

In your arms I will forget my lessons.

My lonely heart is impregnable,

Nourished in the pleasure of your siege,

Vaunted by your exhaustion.

The words I wield are considered,

lies to seduce you,

truths to cause you harm.

So if you are fool enough to love me,

Don’t pander to my games.

Be hard when I am selfish,

And cold when I implore.

Allow me no hold or purchase,

And if you think I love you,

Break my heart just to be sure.


HOAX My Lonely Heart tells the backstory before that initial poem was written: the tale of two people – my brother Rob and Helen – their meeting, their belief that the immediate need they satisfy in each other is love, the truer co-dependent nature of their relationship and their ultimate breakdown.

The musical sold out across its run at Royal Exchange Theatre, Manchester, 4-7 June 2014. It is accompanied by the graphic novel HOAX Psychosis Blues. The two artworks went on to be further developed as The HOAX Project, 2015-2018.



Directed by Benji Reid; composed by Minute Taker; studied (English Literature & Medical Humanities) by Dr Matt Green; performed by Tachia Newall, Olivia Sweeney and Stephen Myott-Meadows; produced by Pippa Frith in association with the Royal Exchange Theatre; supported by Arts Council England, The University of Nottingham and Ziggy’s Wish



National Lottery Good Causes 2017 (nominated); Arts Councils England Strategic Touring Programme 2016 (awarded); Medicine Unboxed Creative Prize 2015 (longlisted); The People’s Book Prize 2014/15 (longlisted); Comics in Education Graphic Novel of the Year 2014 (winner); Medicine Unboxed Creative Prize 2014 (shortlisted); British Comic Awards Best Book 2014 (longlisted); Comica Top Ten British Graphic Novels 2014 (official selection); Critic’s Poll Publishers Weekly 2014 ((official selection); Arts Councils England Grants for the Arts 2014 (awarded); Arts Councils England Grants for the Arts 2013 (awarded).



Matthew Charlton, The Good Review: HOAX My Lonely Heart / HOAX is an ambitious project – the first part is a stage play which continues into a graphic novel, Psychosis Blues, which feeds into research at the University of Nottingham. And whilst it might be viewed as having disturbing subject matter, HOAX looks set to open up debate on mental health issues across a variety of mediums. / Acclaimed cross-media author Ravi Thornton explained in the Q&A following last night’s performance that she is interested in audience psychology and despite the intense personal nature of the story she’s brought to the Royal Exchange Studio, she must be objective when crafting it, she also cited that space is a must, both in terms of time and how to tell a particular story. / My Lonely Heart concentrates on the relationship between Rob (Tachia Newall) and Helen (Olivia Sweeney), whom Rob meets one night. Helen awakens Rob’s spirit, and as an aspiring poet, he begins to find words that have previously eluded him. But their relationship and dependence on each other soon begins to become destructive, and Rob’s schizophrenia begins to take hold of him. / At times, My Lonely Heart feels distinctly ethereal, the smoke, mist and sympathetic lighting effects give a dreamlike quality to the first half. Once Rob’s schizophrenia takes hold in the second half, this gives way to a harsher, metallic, grating existence with one particular sequence a vortex of howling emotions. / Rob and Helen’s relationship is sensitively handled. Newall and Sweeney have a tangible chemistry with each other, and the physical intimacy of their relationship is magically realised by Director Benji Reid. The use of simple physical motions and interactions gives a freedom and intimacy to their relationship that is breathtaking. / The staging has echoes of the graphic novel. Lighting effects cast shapes akin to the panels of a comic on the stage, yet also indicate something of the prison Rob finds himself in – or perhaps Helen finds herself trapped outside of. This imagery also extends to some sequences where imagery is projected onto, or around, the actors. This allows for some spellbinding sequences. / All of this is set to Minute Taker’s music which ticks and oozes its way through the production. From romantic to deadly, Minute Taker’s music, plus the vocal talents of Newall and Sweeney create a hypnotic atmosphere. But importantly, the music gives a voice back to Rob, and allow his poems to come alive. Some might say that Rob is a victim of schizophrenia, but the fight between him and those around him to give him some stability is painfully clear. / Success in portraying something as debilitating as schizophrenia can be subjective. Many might expect voices in the head, or irrational behaviour, and yes, there is some of this contained within. But the genius decision to transplant “the condition” to stage as a silent, always watching, character really makes the point clear. Stephen Myott-Meadows initially spends much of the first half patiently waiting for the trigger for his character to come alive. When he does, he moves with mechanical, unstoppable glee, the ‘condition’ coming alive. And as he tinkers and plays with Rob, it’s done in a creepily caring and nurturing way. Not the screaming, howling portrayal of schizophrenia you might have otherwise expected. / My Lonely Heart might be arguably one of the hardest things I’ve ever watched. It’s a big ask to watch an actor deconstruct themselves on stage – more so when you realise that this is a true story. Obviously it is a fictionalised version of this story, but it gives a voice to those who do not have one. In pursuing Rob’s dream of having his poetry published, Thornton has delivered something far more important – a lasting legacy for Rob. / I can’t really convey how important I believe this project to be, spellbinding in its execution, HOAX is not an easy watch, but it is a unique combination of artistic talent giving voice to important, and rarely discussed issues in the context of a compelling narrative. These short words cannot convey what a beautiful delight My Lonely Heart is, and it is abundantly clear that all concerned are invested in producing not only a compelling narrative, but a lasting legacy for an extraordinary man.

Katherine Kerwin, The Reviews Hub: HOAX My Lonely Heart – Royal Exchange Theatre, Manchester